Archive for ‘Time’

May 18, 2008

Unproductive “Wii”kends

So two weeks ago these two Japanese men randomly knocked on our door and in their thick accents they demanded that we play Wii with them. Despite their unashamed creepiness, Cody and I would both desperate and bored enough to accept their offer. I yanked the remote out of Yoshi’s hands while Cody hooked the system up to my 20″ Apex television.

We proceeded to dominate them in doubles tennis and Mario Kart. So far, I have nothing but good things to report. No abnormally large blisters on my thumbs, and only a small amount of soreness in the elbow. But what I’m most proud of so far is the 270 I bowled this morning. Put that on the board. I don’t see that score being beat for at least three days, and depending on how much time I invest, I could achieve a 300 game by the end of the month. Then, you’ll be seeing me on MTV’s second edition of TrueLife: I’m a gamer.

(This is a re-creation of what Cody and I look like playing Wii. I’m in the back.)

March 5, 2008

a pot of gold at the end of a reading rainbow

I’ve never been much of a reader, but the other day I went to Powell’s, and I actually bought a book without any recommendation or previous knowledge of it…an impluse buy. Sure, I had an encounter with a girl there, but that’s not something I should blog about, in the name of not being creepy.

Uggh, me, me, me. The book. It’s called Rock On: An Office Power Ballad by Dan Kennedy. He actually autographed this copy.

Anyway, it’s his story about landing a job in the music industry at a record label in NYC. It’s just an everyday story told in an everyday voice. I’m only 40 pages in, but so far this is why I like it:

1. The narrator/author used to be a copywriter in the ad industry.
2. He mentioned Oregon.
3. He mentioned Genesis, the band, not the bible thing.
4. He makes list.
5. He talks about giving women nicknames based on first impressions or encounters.

I laughed out loud when he mentioned something about people with glasses looking smart no matter what they’re doing, and I’ve totally been thinking about getting glasses.

January 14, 2008



I feel like recently I’ve used every mode of transportation available, except for horse, boat and spaceship. It’s very relaxing to have others do the navigating for you. With someone else in front of the wheel, I was able to focus my attention on things other than speed limits, gas gauges, check engine lights and potholes. There was definitely a lot to observe on my trip from Portland to Tacoma and back.

The first thing I noticed was how laid-back and hassle-free traveling by train is. There are no security checkpoints, and seating assignments are made at the gate. I didn’t have to take my shoes or my belt off.

Laura and I sat across from two brothers from Jefferson, Oregon. One was a 10th grader, the quieter one was in 8th grade. They were both shy at first, but I made the mistake of asking how much his bistro car pizza was and how it tasted. Once I broke the ice, he was more than willing to speak his mind during the entire train ride, specifically on movies and his favorites subject in school, history. Luckily, Laura and I had refreshments in the form of Black Butte Porter and Bud Light. We also got to sample some of the fine bistro car cuisine for ourselves. She got the microwaved quiche, and I settled for the microwaved hot dog. Yum, yum!

On the way back we didn’t have to face any talkers (the kids said they were taking an earlier train back down). Instead, Laura and I were able to relax and watch Across the Universe, a decent flick that featured Beatles’ songs. It made Laura choke up at the end, but it just made me chuckle.

Overall, the train ride was an enjoyable experience, and I will definitely utilize it’s convenience again. I will just plan on taking and earlier train so that I can enjoy the scenery.

Some other things I saw:

– At least 5-10 cuties on each train. One that caught my eye was drinking wine at the bar in the bistro car.

– A geo-engineer writing up a memorandum about some slope he checked out.

– Amtrak employees with really cool hats.

January 6, 2008

New Years Resolutions Revealed


I figured I’d better get my resolutions published now. The new American Gladiators premiers tonight, and I know I’m going to want to blog about it, so I don’t want to mess with the chronological flow of my entries (it’s OK to be delayed with these things, but never out of order). Here they are. I believe I’ve lived up to all of them so far:

1. BE MORE INTERESTING. It’s that simple. I need to read more, think more, do more, and be more. If Extreme Ironing doesn’t pan out, I’m going to need to have something to fall back on. The Vibra-Slap II that Cody gave me for Christmas could be just what I’m looking for.

2. DO NOT CONSUME FRIED POTATOES. The only exception is the occasional shredded hashbrowns, such as what you’ll find in a Cricket omelet or as part of a Grand Slam. But everything else is out: French fries, curly fries, tater tots, potato chips and potato cakes. Mashed potatoes and baked potatoes will be in high demand, and I am already very disappointed that Fords on 5th offers neither of these—only potato chips or potato salad (yuck!).

3. WATCH LESS TELEVISION. The NFL is into the playoffs, so there will only be a couple games each week, and the college football season has wrapped up (I really don’t care about Ohio St. vs. LSU). Sure there will be Duck basketball and the Portland Trailblazers, but I can just go to those games. The only things I see keeping me glued to the tube will be the new season of Lost and the aforementioned American Gladiators…maybe American Idol, but only if there are a lot of hotties…I mean talented singers.

4. COMPLETE THREE SPEC ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS. This is getting ridiculous. It’s been almost two years since I graduated, and I still don’t have a completed portfolio. I have the tools, and most of the resources, so I need to make it happen. It may be time for me to start carrying that idea journal everywhere I go. I need to start exposing my ad crushes. Thumbnails, thumbnails, thumbnails. I cannot let this blog be the only thing displaying my ideas.

November 17, 2007

Caulifornia here I come!


I need a vacation, and I’m taking one! I can’t remember the last break I’ve had, but next week I will be in Southern California with swimmin’ pools and movie stars. What will I be doing? Visiting the sis, visiting family, and eating (Thanksgiving dinner and a lot of In-N-Out Burger). Dad flew out today; Mom and I will be leaving very early Tuesday morning. I can’t wait to see the ground I was plucked from. See you in 10 pounds…I mean days.

November 1, 2007

T.P. Economics


In June 2007, Cody and I took a trip to Costco shortly after moving into our new Pad-O-Coolness. We got all the necessities: A block of Tillamook cheddar, two pounds of sandwich meet, a Heinz Picnic Pack and of course toilet paper.

The big box sells tushy tissue by the truckload. I believe we purchased our pallet of poopy paper for about $14. That’s 36 roles of 2-ply wiping power people at only $0.39 per roll!

Just the other day I noticed that our stash had hardly been touched. It’s been five months and we still have 20 rolls. I did the math.

Cody and I, with our junk-food filled diets, only use 1/10 of a roll a day. That’s a little more than 44 sheets (which is accurate because I rarely tear it off cleanly).

My point is I find this number surprisingly low, considering I average 2.3 dumps per day. Cody on the other hand says he prefers to unload at work, which could explain our low roll consumption.

Are you keeping track of how much T.P. you flush?

October 16, 2007

Oh yeah? Well I can push the snooze button with one hand.

I saw a guy do this on this morning. It wasn’t embedible so I had to find the next best thing.

October 15, 2007



I feel like I let you all down last week, or at least the Great Montastic, who I still owe a poem comment to. There was no From da Bus segment last week, and it must have seemed like the world stopped spinning. It probably felt as if you missed the bus. Well no my friends. You were there on time, but I just drove right by without stopping.

That’s exactly what happened to me last week. Twice. The same morning. I was waiting at the bus stop with a few other potential passengers. The first bus whisked by like a bat out of hell and packed full. Usually there is an empty bus right behind it, because as physics would prove, as the first bus stops to pick up passengers, the second bus slowly catches up since it is only five minutes behind on the route.

Not this time. The next bus didn’t show up for another 12 minutes, and by that time there were at least a dozen people at the stop. That bus was full as well, but for some reason it stopped, and people tried to board. Even though I waited 25 minutes to catch up bus, I decided to drive to work, and just deal with the traffic and overpriced parking.

I was still 15 minutes late to work, but at least I never felt like a sardine, and I got a decent story out of the whole situation.

When I did actually ride the bus last time I noticed some interesting body decorations. One girl had a tattoo on her ear lobe. Another girl had two studs pierced into her chest. My best body art display was the red ink that I accidentally smeared on my thumb at work.

October 5, 2007


Nothing very major happened this week on the B-U-single-S other than a detour the other morning because of an overturned truck on the Morrison Bridge. There was so much traffic that the passengers opted to get off the buses and walk across the river. It was such an eerie sight, like watching a zombie movie or Independence Day. Here are a view other things I witnessed this weekend.

-Neuroscience textbook.

-The distinct smell of alcohol.


-A girl talking about her extreme mood swings on her cell phone made out of her hand.


-The lady in front of my carried on her little Daschund dressed up in a space suit.

October 4, 2007

Clay is fun. Just ask Gumby.

Tonight happened to be First Thursday, and haven’t been to one since living in Portland (but I did avoid a riot a Last Thursday a few months back). My excuse for not attending this time was because post-season baseball is in session and the season premiere of 30 Rock was on. For any cultured American male 20-something, like myself, that is important and necessary in order to build diversity and interest in his life.

Still, I would have really liked to go to First Thursday because Meredith Dittman—my new favorite artist—was having an artist reception at Compound Gallery. Fortunately, her work will be on display for the entire month. This young lady creates her three-dimensional pieces out of premo polymer clay. She makes individual figures called “Guys” and she also creates art meant to hung on walls. Her work reminds me of the Unkl toys, but I believe those are made out of nylon.


I’ve never been a huge fan of claymation or any of these big-boy toys other than Gumby, but this stuff really caught my eye. I’d encourage ya’ll to go check it out, even though I haven’t yet myself. Maybe we can go together (feel the desperation and loneliness).