According to my most recent personal budget calculations, I am happy to announce that I am financially eligible to take on a girlfriend, and hopefully one that has high interest–in me.
To figure this out I took my monthly income and subtracted all the usual expenses (rent, utilities, bills, food, transportation, tube socks, benadryl, Charles in Charge DVD box sets, etc.). The difference, which is math speak for “leftovers,” was a considerably large amount by my standards. Let’s just say I could comfortably buy a new iPod Mini every month, and still have a few coins jingling in my pocket. But instead of indulging in a new mp3 player every month, or a new car, or saving up for a vacation or the down payment for a house, I’ve decided to invest in a bargain-priced girlfriend.
I don’t need any introductory offers or surprise gifts upon approval. The complimentary services will do.
Follow me!
August 17, 2007 at 1:15 pm
With that attitude you should be able to find a “fly honey” pretty soon—play up the Mexican angle… ladies love foreigners.
August 20, 2007 at 4:55 pm
You’re looking for the Holiday Inn of girlfriends; comfortable, affordable, and complimentary Continental Breakfast